‘My wife won’t let me watch our baby’s birth and will take her mum after saying man up’

A man has asked if he was “a**hole” after his wife refused to let him watch her give birth – but will take her mum with her instead. The 28-year-old and his wife, 26, had “always talked about having kids” and he “always wanted to be there when they were born”.

But as his wife approaches her due date, tensions are high as she has “had a few miscarriages in the past, and I’ve just been praying to God for both of them to make it through safely”.

Posting on Reddit’s ‘AmITheA**hole’, user Dear_Fox_5010 said: “We were talking more and more about what’s going to happen when she goes into labour, and she’s very adamant that I not be in the room, natural or C, no matter what. 

“I’ve tried convincing, pleading, begging, but she won’t change her mind. Her mum is going to be with her, and I understand that she needs her mum, and that she needs to do whatever to make sure that everything goes smoothly. 

“I don’t wanna stress her out too much because I keep telling myself all that matters is that they’re both healthy, but I’m honestly really sad about not being able to be there for my son’s birth.

“It’s not about me. I know that. All that matters is that they’re both healthy.” 

Despite respecting her decision, the man has been left emotional as he desperately wanted to see his child be born.

However, the mum-to-be is “just being so condescending to me, and I know that she’s just stressed out and scared, so she doesn’t mean it, but I feel like I deserve to process this at least for a few days”. 

He added: “I still do everything as I’ve done before, but she says that now I have this ‘beaten puppy dog’ look on my face, and it’s ‘pissing her off’. 

“Then, she started scolding me asking me why it mattered so much to me, and if I was going to act this weak in front of our son. 

“She told me I needed to just be a fucking man and ‘get the f*** over it’. I feel like crying, but I don’t want her to know, and get mad at me again, so I told her I was going out to get groceries, and am writing this in the car to try and calm myself down. 

“I love her so much, but what she said really hit me hard. I just want them both to be healthy and safe, but I also wanted to be there.”

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Users were shocked by the woman’s comments to her husband, with one asking: “Is she always this cruel?”

Another user said the man is “allowed to feel any way he feels about it”, adding: “A woman has a right to deny her husband from being in the delivery room – but a man has a right to feel rejected by that choice. 

“And the consequences can be huge. Stunted or severed intimacy, separation. She can make that choice for any reason, as is her right – but it is a rejection of her husband in the most intimate and meaningful moments of a man’s life. 

“It would be very hard for me, personally, to accept that my partner doesn’t trust me or rely on me enough to be there and see me as a meaningful support.”

User Keenzur said: “It’s your child, too. I don’t blame you one bit for being upset. You’re not an (a**hole) for wanting to see the birth of your kid.”

They added that the woman is “easily an a**hole” for telling him to “get the f*** over it”, adding: “Being pregnant doesn’t give her a free pass to be verbally abusive.”

Meanwhile, user GoldenFrog14 said: “She does not have the right to demean you so much that you are writing this crying from your car.”

User eirwen29 said: “You’re absolutely allowed to be heartbroken over how she’s treating you. 

“I hope it gets better and that y’all can have a conversation because that’s not healthy at all.”

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